People tell me , "new year, fresh start....you can try again!" While that may be true, losing a child just carries over. The pain, confusion, sadness. All of it. Having another baby of course will be a joyous occasion and I can't wait until that day but the grief over losing Mary will stay with me forever. I had a brother who was the first born and died 40 years ago...at birth. My parents first and only boy. The pain and sadness is still there in my parents eyes. And I can't help but think that will be me in 10, 20, 50 years. Of course I will have my other children but there will be one missing.
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