Tuesday, April 6, 2010

oh, and if you haven't noticed

I kind of gave up on the blogging challenge. Meh. ;)
I love to post pics but don't really have time to keep doing that.
Just feeling like I am in a rut right now. Not sad but not angry...kind of in between. Work is bugging me right now. It's not the actual work, more like the people. That's about all that is going on. I feel like I should be doing something more with my life but I don't know what yet. I would really like to take some photography classes this upcoming semester.
There is something that is kind of bugging me though. I have so many things going on this year...weddings and vacations, possible school?However, I feel like I can't plan on anything because "what is I get pregnant?" It's kind of like a cruel joke. Hey, go ahead and plan everything like you did last year. But then you are going to get pregnant. And have problems. Then be on bedrest so you can't do anything or go anywhere. So, yeah...stop looking to move because all this will happen and you won't be able to afford a high mortgage because well, disability pay is a joke.
I don't know how to explain it. It's not good to think that way but I can't help it. I have been through all this before. I had all these things planned last year but then everything went wrong. So, I guess I am just scared to keep going. Make sense?

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