belly/baby pics

This is Baby A. Right when we were about to get a good pic, he/she decided to turn around and stretch out. This is the most active baby.



This is Baby B. He/she turned around and we got a great shot!

This is my lying down. Believe me, it looks much bigger standing up. :)

I had my cerclage this past Wednesday and everything went well. The dr. said my cervix even looked much better, so that's great news. I still have morning sickness but it's easier to deal with.

Being on bedrest is going to be long and hard, but it will all be worth it.

Bittersweet Dreams

I always ask Mary to come into my dreams and I am so happy when she does. I have dreamnt that I was pregnant again with her and that she was a baby...but walking! My girl was going to be a genius! ;)
But at the same time I have these dreams, it's hard because I have to wake up and remember she's gone.
I had a bad dream last night. Before I fell asleep, I was thinking of her and talking to her. I had a dream where we were at her funeral again but she was alive. My god...that breaks my heart to even say that. I was holdng her and she opened her eyes and was looking at me. I kept trying to tell everyone that she was ok but nobody would listen. I just held her and smelled her skin and hair. I didn't want to let her go. That happened right before her actual funeral. M and I dressed her and put her in her casket. We were alone in a room and I picked her up and just held her. M was worried because I wouldn't let her go. It might sound morbid to some but she is my daughter and this was the last time I would be able to do this. I just hugged her and told her I was sorry. I just wanted to stay in that room forever. Just the three of us...

12 weeks

Isn't this morning sickness supposed to be over with? It's been like this for about 6 weeks and I do have meds for it. The problem is I get pretty sick in the morning and I try to take the pill before I even get out of bed, but I throw up anyway. I try not to but it's hard. But if this is how it's going to be for the next 6 months, I will take it.
I went to my NT scan yesterday and got some bloodwork done. The NT showed that the back of both babies necks were measuring small, which is good. Baby A is the most active one and Baby B is usually asleep or just relaxing. I can't wait to find out what they are so I can actually give them names. :) I love seeing how big they have gotten in the last few weeks...they look like actual babies now! I always get really nervous right before any dr.'s appointment, but I can't help it.
I am going to upload some pics of the babies and this belly, which is already huge. I know there are two in there, but dang. lol But I told M it's all good and I am just going to let it hang out there.
We are pretty busy right now because we are moving. The dr. is doing a cerclage next week and is then taking me completely out of work. I was bummed at first but if I have to hang upside down, then that's what I will do. The problem with taking me out of work is having to go on CA disability, which as most people know is basically half of the your monthly income. M and I just can't afford that...shoot, that's basically my rent alone! So....we are moving into my parents house. Believe me, it's not something I want to do but we have to. Thank goodness they have a huge house and we are WAY on the other side of the house and they are upstairs. haha! It's only temporary thank goodness.